


Fake It 'Til You Break It

by Anonymous



Category: Warcraft - All Media Types, World of Warcraft, World of Warcraft - Various Authors
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Coping, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Repressed, Family Loss, Forced Feminization, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Misgendering, Night Terrors, Nightmares, No Sex, No Smut, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Not Beta Read, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-Loss, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Recovery, anduin is trans but i don't mention it oops, garrosh is a dick but what else is new, i just..have some Feelings, i'm not showin that fuck yall nasties, me? projecting? it's likely, past child sexual abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-13 23:01:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12994413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: He tries to forget what happened.





	Fake It 'Til You Break It

Anduin often suffered from nightmares. His husband knew this. But normally, once he had awoken, he would snuggle into his chest and let himself fall apart. He didn't push Wrathion away and turn around to curl in on himself, building back up the walls around his heart. He didn't do _this_.

"Andy?" Wrathion sat up, trying to rub the sleep from his eyes. "My love, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing," the High King muttered. "Go back to sleep. I'm fine."

Wrathion reached out his hand to place it on Anduin's upper arm. 

"Don't-" he whispered, flinching away. "Don't. Don't do that. I-I'm okay."

"I'm not sure I believe that."

Anduin didn't respond.

"I'm not going to _make_ you talk, but you're welcome to do so. You know that, right?"

"I know."

"And you know that I love you."

"I do. I love you too."

Wrathion gave a sad half-smile to the back of Anduin's head.

"Good night, my King."

"Good night, my King."

But Anduin refused to open up, and the nightmares did not stop.

"You look terrible," Wrathion commented one morning as he poured both of them cups of coffee.

"Thank you. I would say the same, but I'd be lying." He kissed his husband on the cheek. "You look as fantastic as ever."

"Oh, stop, you flatter me."

"Mmm, but you've never complained before."

"That I have not. Keep going."

Anduin laughed. He took his coffee and went to sit at the small table at the other end of their room.

"I can't help but worry about you, you know," Wrathion said. He sat across from his husband. "You haven't been sleeping well. Even a couple of the Champions noticed."

"I know."

Wrathion put his hand on Anduin's.

"I want to help you," he said softly. "But I can't if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"It's alright. There's nothing you can really do. I'll get over it, don't worry."

"Are you sure?"

Anduin pulled his hand away.

"Yes."

But Wrathion  _wasn't_.

It had been three weeks. Three entire  _fucking_ weeks since Anduin had had a full night's rest. And it was showing. There were dark, heavy bags under his eyes. He was starting to doze off during meetings, needing to be nudged periodically under the table in order to stay awake.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

Wrathion was believing that less and less every time he said it.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Wrathion, I'm fine."

 _Bullshit_.

(He didn't say that, of course, but he thought it. A lot.)

"Anduin, please.  _Talk to me_."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Fine. Then I'll talk to you. You haven't had a solid night's sleep in  _weeks_."

"Wrathi-"

"I'm  _worried_ about you, Anduin. If your kingly duties are too much responsibility, you know I'd be happy to take some of the weight off of your shoulders. You're dealing with a lot, and I know that, but-"

"That's not it."

"Then what is!?"

Anduin glanced around quickly to make sure that nobody was listening too closely.

"I'll tell you tonight. I promise."

"You promise?"

"I'll swear on my damned life if you want me to, Wrathion, but I'm not discussing this now. Not here. I-" he sighed. "It's a hard thing to talk about. I need a bit of time to prepare myself, alright?"

Wrathion stared at Anduin for a moment, then nodded. "Tonight."

It felt as though the day couldn't end fast enough.

Anduin took his sweet time undressing and combing the knots from his hair. The small golden hoops in his ears went in their regular place on the dresser, and the High King stared long and hard at his reflection in the mirror, still littered with scars from half a decade ago.

"I was raped."

Wrathion was silent.

"Garrosh, he, um . . . It was just before we met, actually. While I was a prisoner of the Horde." He suddenly found his tongue thick and dry in his mouth. "I, uh . . ." He sighed. "I don't know."

"Andy . . ."

"The anniversary is tomorrow." His shoulders shook, but he kept his voice steady. "I try not to think about it, but I end up like this almost every year." He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. "It's stupid. He's dead. I know that. We all know that. He can't . . . do that to me anymore. But it still hurts." He leaned on the dresser. "Sometimes I can even still feel his hands on me. I was only fifteen. I just __don't _understand_ why he would do that to me. To anyone. And the things he called me . . . I don't know a lot of Orcish, and he hardly bothered with Common, but I know the difference between masculine and feminine insults."

Wrathion was slow to approach him. He held out one hand, and Anduin took it in his own.

"It's not stupid," he said quietly. "What you went through . . . It was terrible. You deserve so much better than that."

"My father was always there for me when I got like this." There were tears in his deep blue eyes. "I don't-" he sniffled. "I don't know what to do."

"I'm here now."

"I know. I just." He stared at the floor. "I miss him."

"I know you do. He was a great man, and the best father he could have been, given the circumstances." He tucked a loose strand of golden hair behind his husband's ear. "I'm here for you, Anduin," he said. "I may not have been in the past, but I am now. And I always will be. No matter what." He lifted Anduin's chin. "Do you understand that?"

Anduin wrapped his arms around Wrathion.

"Thank you."

Wrathion returned the gesture, rubbing small circles into Anduin's back. "Of course."

**Author's Note:**

> pbleas comment I Crave Validation,

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [(dont) Touch Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15002003) by Anonymous 




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